Nothing tastes as good as final feels

SHE HAS RISEN aka hello from the other side of divorce

You might’ve missed these recent posts: my very personal answer to "How is menopause showing up in your dating life?" and an explainer on my tattoo sleeve in progress and how it’s become a metaphor for mistakes, do-overs, permanence, and resilience. I will also be doing one more books-and-a-tote-bag for abortion care over on Instagram, so follow me over there and be on the lookout this week for that post!

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Nothing tastes as good as final feels

I didn’t think my divorce being final would matter all that much, emotionally speaking. Legally, of course, it means everything. That’s what you pay for. When I found out the date, it felt more like an administrative pivot point to anticipate. The date when I could change my life insurance beneficiary, remove him from my health insurance, and take care of the remaining handful of tasks to separate our lives completely. I found this a little exciting, since you are constantly warned to NOT MAKE ANY INSURANCE CHANGES UNTIL THE DIVORCE IS FINAL.

I fleetingly regretted not celebrating when the divorce papers were signed, since that was the real relief. And that’s what Nicole Kidman is actually thrilled-as-hell about in that famous photo of her leaving her lawyer’s office—signing the papers, not her divorce from Tom Cruise being deemed final by the courts.

The last signature on our agreement landed via DocuSign on what would’ve been our 26th wedding anniversary. Anyone who’s been through a divorce knows that you can’t game the dates, and that is an all-time understatement. The alignment of both our beginning and ending on paper should’ve inspired me to buy a lottery ticket, but I was probably too broke to consider it.