"Would you do it all over again?"

Living together, nesting, and more, knowing what I know now about divorce

The inescapable truth of writing and promoting BUT YOU SEEMED SO HAPPY is that I was writing what was supposed to be a divorce book years before I’d actually be divorced. So then it became a let’s-examine-this-marriage but also let’s-examine-marriage-and-divorce-in-culture-generally-speaking book. Overlaying all of that, it was also a bit of a “how did I get here?” book.

But when my separation and divorce kicked in for real, I would sometimes be asked (and honestly was often asking myself)—knowing how it all sugared out, would I have made the same decisions if I was able to go back and do it all over again? Would we have announced our divorce but stayed living together? Or would we have just ripped the bandaid off sooner like normal people? Would I have proposed our nesting arrangement once we were truly separated, and things weren’t quite as amicable? Would I still have paid for just about everything knowing where it was all headed? Did I think it had all been worth it for our family, our kids, me? Would I do it all, all over again, if I got a re-do?

Well …