I totally relate to these words: “I’m still recovering from the shock that after all of these years and all of the careful planning that my entire life would still ultimately change in an instant.” My divorce felt the same. It still hurts in new and weird ways 20 years later, but scraping my life and heart down to the marrow taught me so much about courage and compassion. Did I want to learn these lessons? Hell no. I’ve built enough character, thankyouverymuch. But it really does get better. I promise. ❤️
That post was from 3 years ago, and after an extremely long separation (long enough for me to write and publish a book about it). So ... there is much more context to this particular essay. But having said all that, I'm glad it blew up the way it did, it was the only way clarity was going to come for me, and I've been exponentially happier since only a month after that post! x
I describe a good divorce from someone you’ve been with for a very long time to be what I’ve read people say about losing a body part. In place of that missing part is a phantom part. It’s not there but you can still feel it. Frankly it’s awful. But it lessens over time. I divorced him. We shared custody of our dogs. I’m 14 years out and he stopped calling me a year ago. I was always happy to catch up with him.
I'm sitting here alone in my own new space. It's what I've needed and wanted for months and even years, and yet, I'm miserable. I'm telling myself all those things that my therapist and dear friends would tell me, but they aren't working today. Thank you for putting this out there so at least for today, I feel a little less alone.
This resonates so much. The loss, the grief, and ....the knowing. Thank you for giving many of us the words that we might not have otherwise. Sending love and strength as you navigate this time... you will be ok. You will.
Covid eclipsed my intention of seeing you in our shared and strange state of Vermont. As a fellow human who blew up her first married life and has lived to tell about it, I’d love to reconnect. ❤️
Kimberly - I am not sure divorce is the same as death, but your pain feels like the pain I feel in losing my loved one. My hearts hurts with your heart. Your name Honey Stay Super feels like a call to action. Sending you honey and superness.
I'm so sorry that it is (and I guess, has to be) so brutal right now. The cottage sounds lovely. Thinking of you and sending so much love and appreciation for your writing.
I just had dinner with my mom last night and the timing of my parents' divorce was right around then too. I certainly grasp her perspective now in a way I never did before. The impact/trauma is real, but so is the ability to survive it and be free x
I totally relate to these words: “I’m still recovering from the shock that after all of these years and all of the careful planning that my entire life would still ultimately change in an instant.” My divorce felt the same. It still hurts in new and weird ways 20 years later, but scraping my life and heart down to the marrow taught me so much about courage and compassion. Did I want to learn these lessons? Hell no. I’ve built enough character, thankyouverymuch. But it really does get better. I promise. ❤️
That post was from 3 years ago, and after an extremely long separation (long enough for me to write and publish a book about it). So ... there is much more context to this particular essay. But having said all that, I'm glad it blew up the way it did, it was the only way clarity was going to come for me, and I've been exponentially happier since only a month after that post! x
I describe a good divorce from someone you’ve been with for a very long time to be what I’ve read people say about losing a body part. In place of that missing part is a phantom part. It’s not there but you can still feel it. Frankly it’s awful. But it lessens over time. I divorced him. We shared custody of our dogs. I’m 14 years out and he stopped calling me a year ago. I was always happy to catch up with him.
And yes I cried a lot and it was very painful.
I'm sitting here alone in my own new space. It's what I've needed and wanted for months and even years, and yet, I'm miserable. I'm telling myself all those things that my therapist and dear friends would tell me, but they aren't working today. Thank you for putting this out there so at least for today, I feel a little less alone.
I'm so happy this helped! And as so many people told me before, it does get better. And I can now confirm this is absolutely true. Hang in there. x
This resonates so much. The loss, the grief, and ....the knowing. Thank you for giving many of us the words that we might not have otherwise. Sending love and strength as you navigate this time... you will be ok. You will.
This is so lovely, thank you
Thank you. I am ready to go but clinging to threads. I hope I can be as brave.
I'm on the bus with tears in my eyes. Powerful writing.
Covid eclipsed my intention of seeing you in our shared and strange state of Vermont. As a fellow human who blew up her first married life and has lived to tell about it, I’d love to reconnect. ❤️
Adele! Yes!! Respond to the newsletter so I have your email, I would absolutely love to see you. x
Kimberly - I am not sure divorce is the same as death, but your pain feels like the pain I feel in losing my loved one. My hearts hurts with your heart. Your name Honey Stay Super feels like a call to action. Sending you honey and superness.
I'm so sorry that it is (and I guess, has to be) so brutal right now. The cottage sounds lovely. Thinking of you and sending so much love and appreciation for your writing.
Sending you all the heart emojis in the world because I have no good words. Thank you for writing this beautiful, beautiful piece.
This is really beautiful (and sad). Sending love and positivity from the Heartland
I was left then divorced in 1986 reading this made me realize I never got over it.
I just had dinner with my mom last night and the timing of my parents' divorce was right around then too. I certainly grasp her perspective now in a way I never did before. The impact/trauma is real, but so is the ability to survive it and be free x